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When my husband and I decided we wanted to raise multilingual children, it felt like a very natural choice for our family. Both of us grew up with more than one language in our lives, and we wanted our kids to have the same connection to language, family, and culture.

Our children were born in the United States, but from the beginning they were surrounded by English, Portuguese, and Spanish. I grew up bilingual in Portuguese and English, while my husband grew up bilingual in Spanish and English. Spanish became part of my life later, and while I am comfortable using it, it is still my third and least confident language.

When our kids were babies, I thought multilingual parenting would mostly come down to exposure. Speak the languages, surround them with people who speak them, read books, listen to music, and eventually they would naturally absorb everything.

Years later, I have learned that raising multilingual children is not quite that simple. It is much more personal than following a formula, and it changes as your children grow.

Our Multilingual Backgrounds

Language has always been connected to family for us. My family is Brazilian, and my husband’s family is Chilean. Both of us grew up adapting to life in the United States while still maintaining important parts of where we came from.

For me, both Portuguese and English were part of my childhood and identity. English eventually became the language I used most outside of my family, while Portuguese remained deeply connected to my heritage and family relationships. Spanish came later, and even though Portuguese and Spanish have many similarities, becoming comfortable with a third language took time and effort.

That experience has shaped the way I think about my kids learning languages. Knowing a language is not just about memorizing vocabulary. It is about being able to communicate with people, understand humor, participate in conversations, and feel connected to a part of yourself or your family.

That connection was always the biggest reason we wanted our kids to grow up multilingual.

Why We Wanted to Raise Multilingual Children

Before our kids were born, people would sometimes ask how we planned to handle multiple languages. Some people worried that learning more than one language would confuse them or make things harder.

Those concerns are common, but they never changed our decision. My husband and I both grew up bilingual, and we knew firsthand that multiple languages could be a positive part of childhood.

We did not expect our kids to become perfectly fluent in three languages overnight. Our goal was much simpler: we wanted them to be able to communicate with family, understand where they came from, and have access to more than one language throughout their lives.

For us, language was never just a skill. It was part of our family.

What Multilingual Parenting Looked Like When They Were Little

When the kids were babies and toddlers, multilingual parenting felt easier because exposure happened naturally. They were constantly around us, listening to conversations, repeating words, and absorbing the world around them.

We never followed one strict multilingual parenting method. Our family naturally combined different approaches depending on the situation.

English became the language we used most often at home because it is the language my husband and I use with each other. But Portuguese and Spanish were always present because of our families.

With my parents, we spoke Portuguese. With my husband’s family, we spoke Spanish. When everyone was together, conversations could move between all three languages without anyone really thinking about it.

Sometimes the kids heard three languages in one afternoon, and somehow they understood exactly who was speaking what.

Family Was Our Biggest Language Resource

Looking back, I think one of the biggest advantages we had was that the languages were connected to relationships. Our kids were not only learning words from books, videos, or structured activities. They were hearing those languages from people they loved.

My parents gave them Portuguese exposure through everyday conversations, family traditions, and small moments together. My husband’s family gave them Spanish through grandparents, relatives, and the normal interactions that happen when you spend time together.

That made a huge difference. A language feels much more meaningful when it belongs to real people and real experiences. It is easier to want to communicate when the language is connected to someone you love.

For families who do not have relatives nearby who speak another language, creating additional exposure can help. Books, music, shows, and conversations with native speakers can all become small opportunities to bring another language into everyday life.

How Our Environment Shaped Their Languages

One thing I have learned is that children’s languages are shaped by much more than what parents decide to teach. The people around them, where they live, and the opportunities they have to actually use each language all make a difference.

I grew up with both English and Portuguese as part of my everyday life, while my husband grew up with English and Spanish. When we had kids, we wanted them to have a connection to all three, but we also had to think realistically about what languages they would have the most opportunities to use.

Living in South Florida played a big part in that choice. Spanish is a major part of everyday life here, and we knew it was a language they would continue encountering throughout their lives, both socially and potentially professionally.

Both sides of our family live nearby, and we have always made a point of spending regular time together. More recently, sharing a home with my Chilean in-laws has naturally increased their everyday Spanish exposure, but Portuguese is still very much connected to time with my family as well.

I have noticed that our kids associate languages very strongly with specific people and experiences. Portuguese, Spanish, and English are not just words or skills to them. They are connected to grandparents, family conversations, food, traditions, humor, and the everyday moments that make up their childhood.

Our goal was never to create three perfectly equal languages. It was to give them meaningful opportunities to hear them, use them, and stay connected to the parts of their identity that those languages represent.

How Our Approach Has Changed As They’ve Grown

When I first wrote about raising multilingual children, my kids were toddlers. At that stage, so much of language learning happened naturally. They were constantly listening, repeating words, and absorbing whatever was happening around them.

Now that they are older, I see multilingual parenting very differently.

English has naturally become their strongest language. It is the language they use most for school, friendships, reading, technology, and everyday life. That makes sense because it is the language they are surrounded by the most.

Spanish and Portuguese have developed differently over the years. They understand much more than they always choose to speak, and their comfort level changes depending on the situation and who they are talking to.

That has been one of the biggest lessons for me: raising multilingual children is not about creating three perfectly equal languages. It is about keeping those languages available and giving them meaningful reasons to use them.

When kids are little, exposure feels like the main goal. As they get older, opportunities become just as important.

I Don’t Just Want My Kids to Know Spanish

One thing I have realized over the years is that knowing a language and living a language are two different things.

I do not just want my kids to know Spanish because it is part of their family background. I want it to be part of their everyday lives — something they can use naturally with family, friends, activities, and the people around them.

More than anything, I want them to feel comfortable enough to joke, ask questions, tell stories, and participate in conversations without feeling like they are taking a test.

This has also challenged me personally.

Spanish is my third language, and it is the one I feel least confident using. Because I am naturally direct and sometimes a little reserved, speaking in a language where I have to search for words can make me feel even more uncomfortable.

But I continue using it.

Partly because I want my kids to see that language learning does not require perfection. You can make mistakes, pause, and still communicate.

But also because I genuinely want Spanish to continue being part of my own life. I do not want it to be something that only exists because I hope my kids maintain it. I want it to be something I actively use too.

As the kids have gotten older, we have also added more intentional exposure in ways that feel natural for them. Sometimes that means watching a show or movie in Spanish, reading books in another language, listening to music, or using apps like Duolingo as a little extra practice.

These things do not replace real conversations, but they can help keep a language familiar and give kids more opportunities to hear it.

At the same time, I do not want every interaction to feel like a lesson. The goal has never been to make my kids feel like they are constantly practicing. For us, the best language learning has always happened when it is connected to real life, curiosity, and relationships.

That is also how we approach learning in general. In our home, learning has never only happened through formal schoolwork. A lot of it happens through books, projects, games, conversations, and the things they are naturally curious about. I shared more about the tools and resources we actually use in What We Actually Use for Learning at Home.

What I’ve Learned From Raising Multilingual Children

If I could go back and talk to myself when my kids were babies, I would remind myself not to worry so much about doing everything perfectly.

There is no single formula that works for every multilingual family. Every family has different languages, different levels of fluency, different communities, and different amounts of support.

The most important thing is to use the languages you have and create opportunities for your children to experience them.

Speak with them. Read with them. Include family members. Share music, stories, traditions, and conversations.

Do not panic when languages mix. Do not compare your child’s journey to someone else’s. And do not assume that a child has to be equally strong in every language for multilingualism to be valuable.

For our family, languages have always been about connection.

They connect our kids to their grandparents, their family history, their culture, and different parts of who they are.

Looking Back

When I look back at the little kids who were learning three languages at once, I am amazed by how much has changed.

The goal was never for them to become perfect speakers of three languages. The goal was always to give them access to the people and experiences connected to those languages.

Some days it looks like a conversation with family. Other days, it is me pushing myself to speak Spanish even when I feel uncomfortable. And sometimes, it is simply hearing another language being used naturally around them.

Raising multilingual children has been an ongoing process, and it has changed as our family has changed.

The languages have grown with us.