Journal: My toddler: 1, Me: 0

Journal Entry about struggling and failing to get my oldest toddler to obey me at lunchtime/nap time. This post is mostly me freaking out and going off on a rant.

Journal Entry

I’m sitting in my living room outside my son’s bedroom on the computer watching him through our “baby” monitor (Nest Cam).

About an hour ago my kids and I sat down for lunch, I served them first while I vacuumed the carpet and then sat down with them.

My one and a half year old daughter had eaten about half her food between using her hands and fork and my almost three year old son mostly watched her and sucked his thumb (yet another issue we’re dealing with). By the time I finished eating my food my daughter had eaten about 75% of her food and my son was still in the 5-10% range.

I helped my daughter, who stops eating on her own after a while but still loves to eat. I reminded my son to eat and tried helping him as well. He kept nodding that he didn’t want to eat and just stared off into space.

These past two days he skipped his nap, hopefully just another nap skipping phase, and he’s been difficult throughout the entire morning for certain things.

At this point I’m thinking, he must be too tired to eat. So I getting his attention again to eat and after waiting for him to eat on his own I asked him if he was tired and wanted to go to bed.

He didn’t really agree or disagree so I changed his diaper (still not potty trained) and put him in his bed for a nap. I watched him on the camera as he was getting cozy and thought, “Good job mom, that’s what he really needed!”

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And a few minutes later I hear the door of his room open- damnit! I asked if he wanted to eat and he said no so I sent him back. This happened for about an hour.

Within that hour I gave my daughter milk and cleaned her up. I changed her diaper and put her down for her nap too. She lounged in bed for a good while before actually falling asleep.

I got my son and sat him down again to eat and he refused, even when I fed it to him he swatted me and I sent him back to bed.

So here I am, almost two hours after I finished my lunch and he’s in his room, pretending to sleep but actually playing quietly. Sure he’s being quiet and not waking his sister but I’m pissed because I can’t get him to do either essential thing (sleep or rest).

I resisted his not napping for the past two days after half an hour of fighting and now he’s been driving me crazy all day despite my jolly mood and trying to do fun things at home this morning. But what was I supposed to do?

If I try to get him tired by staying in the room with him he plays with my face and doesn’t sleep. If I read to him he asks for more and its never ending. He gets more distracted if he doesn’t put himself to sleep. And I’m not about to wake up my 1 year old to go for a car ride to get a 2 year old to fall asleep!

I’m feeling like a failure because I tried giving him second chances to eat or sleep but he can’t make up his mind. I ask him what he wants and he doesn’t reply or just goes back to his room and starts the cycle again.

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I know he’s only two and I’m expecting too much but make up your mind! Eating and sleeping are essential. How am I supposed to get anything done if he doesn’t sleep?

It’s feeling like a behavior issue. I know he likes the food so why won’t he eat?

I feel so lost right now and I’m the parent, I can’t let him do whatever he wants when he wants. I’m trying to keep my cool but I need a solution, now!

So I’m over here freaking out, asking strangers on facebook for advice, trying to call my husband at work after he doesn’t answer my million texts, and trying to stay calm outside his room where he can’t see me. It’s been two hours and he’s playing in his room, I send him back to bed and two minutes later he falls asleep… Did I just win!?

It doesn’t feel that way but at least he’s asleep and I can be at peace about this. Who knows what’s going to happen once he wakes up!? Crossing my fingers! positive vibes!

Now I can finally cool down and be calm and in a better mood for him.

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